a tale of black saturday

black Saturday year 2014, glance around your neighborhood, next door music booming loud , the obvious hits nataka kulewa, my sweety sweety and the infamous track list provided by our own micheal jackson Mr. Fundamental. why not, it’s been a long and most stressful quater, but thank God for Easter, or as Kenya call it, send pontius pilate a tusker to jerusalem, featuring a road trip to ocha, wash your hands boy nyama iko tayari, then obviously the anti mututho dens. what a happy easter they said….no work till Tuesday they said…..it’s one week to the end of the month they said… it would be wise to spend all my march earnings. Wait for it Legendary…

The tale of the next door party

Today the askari is very friendly, kijana nilete kitu kidogo kunichagamusha, a statement he has professed to four other gate crushers before me. Why not, its easter weekend ata yeye anataka kulewa. Open bar for days, nyama choma for days, full stop. Today no vibing, no sweet, it kazi iendele time. Drink to a pulp. NOTE it is mandatory or etiquette to raise your hand and wave around, no long eye contact just quick winks and smiles, this places a 6 hour window for them to add you into their circle and discard you when then party is over. Objective complete you have infiltrated the grounds, next mission the gain the bar tenders trust. easy, task one pass by the choma zone oil yourself up, two get a site close to the young girls, (to look like you are a date) finally go to the bar nataka shot, don’t start with beer, someone dad will notice his six packs are reducing, pole pole, familiarize which beers are for the any tom dick and harry, smile at the bar tender, mumble some words to get his attention and then chuck a broad opinion about the party, wazee wamependa raha siku hizi….don’t forget to pass a hand shake with your oily hands, this makes him want some choma and guess what you are the guy to sneak a few bites to him. In business this is called trading a goose for a golden egg. Mission complete you have now a reason to hog the liquor…..


Anyway happy Easter everybody and let’s not forget the true meaning of this festivity,

People don’t drink excessively and drive

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